The first period of wakefulness and many hours of travel-induced crazy

Last night, or whatever period of time ago it was that I last went to bed, I played Plants Vs. Zombies. I played it as it is my sworn duty as an environmentally friendly foe of the undead. Normally when you're told "A HUGE WAVE OF ZOMBIES IS APPROACHING", and then you spud-ow those zombie mofos, you get a present, a new seed with new abilities. But then instead, I got a magically shiny note! I opened it up and this is what it said:
NOT ACCEPTABLE. So I hightailed it out of the country, to a place that would be more zombie free. Fortunately, after hitch-hiking my way down to San Francisco I managed to flag down a plane on the runway, conveniently enough heading for Narita, the Tokyo International Airport.

They had me write some things. I did a fair amount of it in Kanji, including the address of my stay, which after writing four different times on separate forms still makes no sense to me. Please don't notice the fact that I forgot how to write 勉強 or probably misspelled my own middle name in the katakana alphabet.
But fancy that, I didn't make it very far.
At least my smooth-talking Japanese convinced them that Nyquil is a 医者が必要じゃなくてどこでも買える薬。Maybe my hot bod helped when they stuck the thermometer in my arm-pit.

Once I had gained my freedom, I encountered many strange and wonderful things, and failed at flushing this particular toilet.

Not pictured: the shower for babies on the other side of the personal space bubble stall.

But despite all the wonders I may come to find, this statue in the Tokyo airport reminded me just why I love America.

And it's not even Day 1 of the program. Tomorrow is the placement exam which requires waking up at 5 for travel.

EDIT: An update of the utmost importance. Holy crap guys. The hotel in Tokyo where I'm staying before heading to Hakodate tomorrow HAS FREE JAMMIES.