希望

Sheesh, I've fallen behind on a bunch of things I wanted to talk about. I was gonna update on a bunch of things, but then this one topic ended up taking more than its fair share.

I need to discuss this with someone and set my head straight. Please argue this, in either direction. So you know how most college students have majors? Like, before they become juniors? Um yeah. About that. I've been waffling for a while, but had nearly completely settled on Ecology/Evolutionary Biology over the runner-up Neuroscience. I knew full well I have no ambition to go into research careers, or research-oriented grad school (I take these classes because I'm interested in learning about science... but sometimes the necessary repetition and precision and drudgery of DOING good science is pretty dull). I kind of half-heartedly maintained that maybe if I was totally sold by this summer, I could still swap to East Asian Studies. Hahahaha, I'm so funny.

But wait. While I am not "totally sold" by this summer (I maintain "marginally bought", with a lot of haggling along the way), I'm suddenly considering that change of majors very seriously.

Let's suppose that one's career path is at best weakly correlated with college major, and that I have no ambition for the kind of career that requires a specific BS degree. And let's suppose that after this summer, I'm still nowhere near fluency in Japanese (FACT). And let us suppose that after this summer, and 4 more semesters with one language class each at Yale, I still can't achieve a high level of conversational/literary/masterful fluency (more than likely). Then I'll graduate with a chronological 7 years of study of something that won't crystallize to something meaningful and will therefore soon fade with disuse into nothingness.

But what if... What if I'm not just doing one language class a semester. What if I reach a point where I can attend real classes in the original language, at Yale or elsewhere. What if instead of spending next summer doing science research for a senior project, I come back to Japan, with not only the conversational ability I've painstakingly built up til now but also another year's worth of study at Yale. What if I can take the kinds of classes discussing literature and humanities and international relations and real people that have been conspicuously absent from most of my liberal arts education?

In thinking about this, though, I can't get rid of the bitter taste of thinking of devoting an entire college's worth of study to one language. I think about how many international students at Yale can study at a level that meets or surpasses my level of English thought in a language that is not their native one. Or else, I think about how many people with strong language programs in high school are already at the point where they can study abroad in Spain or France. And I feel pathetic as someone who can, at most, speak English. And now they're working on their third or fourth. So I feel that it's a shame to spend a college's worth of study and not yet even master one. Is that a misuse of the opportunities that I have?

So as to not make this entirely one-sided... I still really like EEB, and even if I did East Asian Studies I would still be taking those classes as electives. When we went hiking on Hakodate Yama, people I've met here who barely know me instantly saw the joy I had in discussing plant cycles and identifying birds and the adaptive reasons for insect behavior. I would say I thought I was studying ecology and they'd say, of course, that's perfect for you. And in the long term of career potential, I would like to do something environmentally related. If there is a tree, I want to hug it.

But I want so badly not to be the American who's the butt of the world's jokes, whose fat and stupid and didn't bother to learn another language. I want to show the naysayers (oh, and there's a lot of them) that even a white gangly blonde gaijin can learn their silly little language. I want to show them I can write their nasty little scribbles that linguists agree is the least suited writing system for the language imaginable, but they refuse to modify because of the deep roots into their history and culture. I want to give the collective Japanese nation my middle finger.

That's enough of my pontification for now... I wanna hear what you think. Or at least I want you to look at pretty pictures.

Don't mess with me, Japan. I am a big-ass hammer wielding, rice smashing, soba making machine.
Last weekend I traveled up and down the coast with Suda-san, stopping at a number of onsen along the way. I don't think I can live in a country that doesn't have onsen.

This could be the cutest pencil case ever. Or maybe, if you consider the juxtaposition of the seals and what I can only assume are lotion bottles, its kinda creepy.


Coolest parade float from 函館市夏祭り ever- riding on top of giant drums AND hitting them with sticks. It's my two greatest loves, united at last.


I'll also debut in another festival tomorrow, the 函館港祭り。I play the historical figure 石塚. I have lines. I get to speak like a samurai. Aw yeah, でござる。