HOST FAMILY をします

I finally met the host family. I was terrified of the two little girls, who are cute beyond reason but talk far too fast and casually for someone spoon-fed textbook japanese to follow. No rejection is as complete and merciless as a 9 year old Japanese girl who suddenly loses all interest in you because you have no idea what she just said.

At first I struggled epically as all the japanese I ever knew left me, but gradually I've been able to talk with my parents. They like watching Child's Play (チャッキ) and Saw (ソー) as a family. And it turns out the train station is literally a block away, so this eases the transportation nightmare I previously saw.

Nozomi and Hikari are identical twins. All look same? I kept track of them by their shirt colors but then they got into pajamas. I'll have to start over again tomorrow.

But fortunately, the girls and I bonded over making origami squids, or I least I tried to follow the directions while they said ”こうして、こうして” and finally did it for me. I later explained I wanted to become a パテイシエ (it's a Japanified french word for pastry chef) which elicited extreme cries of ヘエエエエエエエ？！

Highlight of my life: there was a cheesy news story on about "The Secret Millionaire", and in an effort to teach her daughters important values, the mother starts exclaiming in her best bimbo voice "ミリオナイアの妻になりたい！” She then continued in a more imperative tone- "サーデイアラビアはどう？たくさん石油がある！サーデイアラビアでオサマの妻になって！”

The fact that my host mother told her daughters to go to Saudi Arabia in order to marry Osama and become a millionaire's wife is proof that my family will be awesome.

No pictures of the host family yet, so instead a pic of my last hotel dinner:
bento boxes of sushi and coconut pocky. Major yum.

No sympathy for the vertically challenged

Now that classes have started, the number of blog-worthy adventures and photos have dwindled a bit, but I did find a great game this afternoon where I steal things from Thanh (like her pet hamster Hermes that she lied to me and said she got a real hamster and I was heartbroken when I tried to visit her room and it was a fake hamster. A hamster of lies and deceit) and use my tactical superiority to keep it away from her. Some would say that my strategy is nothing more than being significantly taller, but it works.


Anyway, homestay begins tomorrow. We'll see how that works out, with suddenly being not even remotely in control of my space, my sovereignty, or my curfew. I'm still nervous about how to handle the crippled child, but there's not much to do except go with the flow and be sensitive. I spent a long time trying and failing to find my host family's address on a map of Hakodate- turns out the reason I couldn't find them is because they're in a different city altogether. When I first started asking around, I was told their district of 久根別 (kunebetsu) in the neighboring city 北斗市 (Hokutoshi) was 3 hours away. I can't deal with that commute twice a day. But the most accurate estimate I've gotten from the program office is that the Japan Rail trainline from their city to mine is 20 minutes. Add 20 minutes from Hakodate Eki to the school building, plus however long it takes from their house to the Kunebetsu Eki, and this could be substantial. The whole thing is estimated at an hour by bike, which will probably be my best bet if their house is far from the station, too. Nothing to do but see tomorrow when I finally meet the family.

An (unrelated) nice pic from 函館市公演, which flanked the children's play place 子供の国 as we traveled to 谷地がしり温泉 over the weekend. The mountains and fog here are incredible.

ごめんなさい

Dear The Environment,

You know that I like you. You know that I'm a big fan of recycling and sustainable foods and not eating endangered animals. But it's not my fault that whales are so frickin' delicious. Maybe if you didn't make the things that I moralistically should not eat in good conscious so tasty, we could avoid this whole dilemma. It's not you, it's whales. Maybe we need to see other people for just a little bit until you can forgive me for ordering the fried kujira burger at Lucky Pierrot, the local hamburger chain that is ironically the most popular restaurant in all of Hakodate. But hey, I hope we can still be friends.

Kisses,
~Elliot

Baby seals, squids, yams

Saturday was an incredible day for conversing with Japanese people. I started off the morning wandering through the fish market. My group included Nao, whose oral Japanese far surpassed anyone in the group, but pretty soon I was holding my own chatting it up and getting samples from fishmongers. Cool discovery of the morning: いかすみのアイスクリム、squid ink flavored ice cream.

Also note Chris' shirt: 日本語勉強中(in the middle of studying Japanese). This was the best conversation starter with all the natives who chuckled at us.

By the way, my squiddy friends of the marching band, I'm taking photos of every cool squid-related thing I find. And because Hakodate is the squid capital of the world, there will soon be a gallery of epic proportions.

In an attempt to find the young person's night life of Hakodate, my friends goaded me into chatting it up with attractive young Japanese girls. I was told afterwards that apparently I kind of intimidated them with what has suddenly become my "exotic" look of blue eyes, blonde hair, and manly ways. It's equally likely that they were timid about dealing with clumsy, badly spoken foreigners, but as the first explanation is far more flattering to my ego that's the one I choose to believe.

But in exploring the historical district further, we were invited into a Buddhist temple's service. I couldn't begin to explain anything of what was going on (I think the service was performed in classical chinese? At least the prayerbook we saw was written that way), but it was pretty.



With a group, I scaled Hakodate Yama again in spite of the impenetrable fog. It was a longer route and slower going than my previous run, but the fog gave the whole place this mystical quality. At the souvenir shop up top (not open on when I visited in the early morning) I ate caramels on the top of Hakodate Yama that had been flavored as cheesecake, corn, beer, and potato. Corn was the definite winner, being nigh identical to corn pops in candy form. Also tried ICE CREAM INSIDE OF WAFFLES. And then I found candies with baby seals, and resisted the urge to club them. After writing an enormous term paper last semester on how the sealing industry was a precursor to the struggles of territorial control and suzerainties between the US and Japan, any reference to seals in Japan has become even cooler to me than seal references in general. Dorky, I know.

Fog!
Caramel ice cream inside of waffle in a box. Brilliant.
And baby seals, urging me to buy "stick pie"

But then we went to a soba shop that was built into this sweet old couple's house- Ishizawa san and his wife are basically the coolest old people ever. I kept on asking about how the noodles were made in an attempt to stir up conversation (we were the only patrons in a small, homey room) and pretty soon they told us their life history. Even though much of the conversation was taken over by a more linguistically skilled friend and I couldn't track when they both started telling stories at the same time, it was great to make friends out of the blue like that. They even brought us special desserts, made from congealed cooking water produced in the Soba making.

Afterwards, we checked out a traditional bar style alley, with tiny shops (no more than 6 seats or so) stacked on top of each other. I got to talking again with Hi-chan and Maa-kun, my new favorite sassy bartending duo, and after I mentioned I had just turned 20 they brought me a special birthday pudding. How did they know how much I love pudding? Then one of the other patrons there brought our group some sweets made from yams. I frickin' love yams. This day was amazing for how many people I connected with through speaking Japanese, but I suddenly realize the sever lack of small gifts for giving to new friends now that I see how many I've received just by being friendly.

Also from the top of the mountain- a shrine written in classical chinese (we found an old school kanji to write "20" as 廿)

A list of reasons why my birthday in Japan is awesome:

Were I still in the United States, I would be 19. I have not yet lived for 20 years. But according to my passport and my position relative to the international date line, I'm 20 a day early. It was a little anti-climactic because Japan basically never cards, but I obtained two bottles of personally, legally purchased sake that later partied with me in the hot springs. Aw yeah.

I think I was trying to look pimpin' here. I think I just look squinty instead.
Note the recently purchased Sake bottles and mochi cakes.

I spent my birthday afternoon and night hanging out with a bunch of naked guys in hot water, one of whom is apparently my Sigma Chi bro fromt the Harvard chapter. We were later joined by an older native guy, and we actually made some pretty good conversation with him. His lack of teeth was a major block to our understanding, but he gave us directions to a good ramen spot for dinner.

Did I mention that Japan sells sake in juice boxes?

Actually among the most un-delicious experiences of my life, but it was okay because it was in a juice box.

After a long ordeal of asking directions, we finally plotted out the right bus route to get to the いさりび間　Isaribikan Hot Springs. But the only way to make it there was to sprint from the hotel to the station. We received claps and cheers from a fishmonger on the streets as we raced to our destination.

Never have I been so pleased with myself to be on a bus.

List of fun things I've eaten:
~Salted squid guts. I could feel them for hours afterwards.

~Squid Somen (noodles). I thought this meant I'd have squid served with noodles, but then it was actually squid sliced into noodles.

When I received my dish, I kept on insisting that this was noodles and there would be squid beneath, but then it turned out the entire thing was just squid.

~Whole Squid. It was five inches long.

Not actually what I ate, but the most adorable manhole cover I've ever seen.

~Ramen. With squid in it.


But before that, I first celebrated my coming of age by running up a mountain at 5 am. I know, right? But my sleep schedule is still an epic fail from jet lag, and it was far too bright and pretty out in the morning. Over two hours, I conquered 函館山, which is more steep, tall, and confusing than I had expected. I spent a long time even trying to find a road that would get me there (apparently running straight towards the big rock doesn't work) because Japan's streets are whack. The signs along the way explain the history of the place in English, and the signs along the mountain trails explained about the local birds in the area (I was very excited to see this after complaining about there being nothing but the scariest crows I've ever encountered). I sadly didn't bring my camera for the incredible view.

Early in the afternoon, as we tried out some authentic Japanese gelato at a place called Saltimbocca (fun fact: most popular restaurant in Hakodate is a hamburger joint), we were asked by a Kyoto native to write our dreams on a large card and pose with him for a project. Through some horribly awkward questioning, we finally figured out he has a friend doing the same in Kyuushuu, to see how people's dreams vary between the north and south of Japan. Our dream, that fits into this weekend's goal setting homework for the weekend: 私達は日本語で上手になりたい！(We want to become good at Japanese. And pose in the most Asian fashion possible.)

I seduced two cats and a kitten with my sultry cat yodeling. My gathered audience didn't believe in my skills but I knew I would conquer.

Also, this hotel has MORE FREE JAMMIES. I love Japan.

The start of hakodate

After a morning full of written exams for class placement, I just had my oral interview, still fighting the massive jetlag. In the first sentence out of my mouth, I forgot how to say America. And in case you didn't know, this, the way to say “America” in Japanese is アメリカ. In roman characters: Amerika. Seriously. Then I was asked about what books I've read recently. I remembered that I just finished this really long, really awesome book at home, but for the life of me couldn't remember anything about it, including its name. So, I ended up talking about Marley and Me which I had watched on the plane ride over. It's probably a good thing I didn't remember the actual book because I would have no way to explain the artsy broken prose and complex familial ties and journey of self-acceptance from The Shipping News by Ann Proulx. But then we got to talk about swine flu, which I was much better at and could tell my sweet story about getting quarantined in Tokyo.

I ate some things that might have been whale blubber but were probably radish, and some things that I thought were mushroom but might have been squid. Usually, the recommended procedure for consuming strange found objects is PERCEIVE – IDENTIFY- EAT. But since I've already failed that piece of sage wisdom, I'll run with PERCEIVE – EAT – MAKE VAGUE CONJECTURES AS TO THE DUBIOUS NATURE OF WHAT IS IN MY MOUTH for now.

I also found some children in our class building, who asked about the bathroom. And I gave them directions. Native speakers ask for me directions because I'm straight pimpin'. Aw yeah. I even answered their questions about proper shoe procedures for the inside. I am a sexy shoeless god of words.

And since I don't yet have good pictures of Hakodate where I am now residing, pontificate upon the viewing pleasure induced by the following public signage above a pachinko parlor. It's okay until you start to consider what those two stick figures are alternating doing to that lady stick figure.

The first period of wakefulness and many hours of travel-induced crazy

Last night, or whatever period of time ago it was that I last went to bed, I played Plants Vs. Zombies. I played it as it is my sworn duty as an environmentally friendly foe of the undead. Normally when you're told "A HUGE WAVE OF ZOMBIES IS APPROACHING", and then you spud-ow those zombie mofos, you get a present, a new seed with new abilities. But then instead, I got a magically shiny note! I opened it up and this is what it said:
NOT ACCEPTABLE. So I hightailed it out of the country, to a place that would be more zombie free. Fortunately, after hitch-hiking my way down to San Francisco I managed to flag down a plane on the runway, conveniently enough heading for Narita, the Tokyo International Airport.

They had me write some things. I did a fair amount of it in Kanji, including the address of my stay, which after writing four different times on separate forms still makes no sense to me. Please don't notice the fact that I forgot how to write 勉強 or probably misspelled my own middle name in the katakana alphabet.
But fancy that, I didn't make it very far.
At least my smooth-talking Japanese convinced them that Nyquil is a 医者が必要じゃなくてどこでも買える薬。Maybe my hot bod helped when they stuck the thermometer in my arm-pit.

Once I had gained my freedom, I encountered many strange and wonderful things, and failed at flushing this particular toilet.

Not pictured: the shower for babies on the other side of the personal space bubble stall.

But despite all the wonders I may come to find, this statue in the Tokyo airport reminded me just why I love America.

And it's not even Day 1 of the program. Tomorrow is the placement exam which requires waking up at 5 for travel.

EDIT: An update of the utmost importance. Holy crap guys. The hotel in Tokyo where I'm staying before heading to Hakodate tomorrow HAS FREE JAMMIES.